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Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sign of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
What is
Courtship?
Imagine
a married person holding hands, kissing, and making googly eyes at someone
that is not their spouse. 
It just isn't right, is it? Well, the truth is that a single person doing
those things is still doing it outside of marriage, with someone
other than their spouse! These things are meant to be shared within
marriage!
We discuss "courtship." Which is sort of like what some might consider dating, but with a twist. Courtship and dating are just words, and many people have very different ideas of what these terms mean. Our family has no hard and fast "rules," but basically intend to avoid the "aloneness" of typical dating practices, and instead encourage our children to try to keep their hearts intact and their body pure for their future mate, and their mind focused on the Lord.
To accomplish this, they will only "court" a person they can picture themselves marrying. We plan for them to not spend time alone, in order to restrict the opportunity for temptation. We will also encourage them to get input from both sets of parents, and we'd like for the parents to know everyone, too.
We hope they make the wisest possible decision for marriage. Honorable marriage is the goal. A beginning relationship would focus on getting to know each other, by being open and honest about themselves and their expectations, in order to see if they are truly spiritually compatible. It will be a time to evaluate if the potential mate is saved and desires to please the Lord. It will be a time to pray together, determine common interests, discuss goals, and flaws, too.
We truly desire to glorify God in the process. "For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's." (1 Co 6:20) God is very much in favor of commitment. Testament (as in Old and New Testament) is another word for covenant. When God makes a covenant with us, we can count on Him to keep it. Marriage is a type of covenant, and we hope to honor that commitment by keeping our word and promises.
In contrast, in typical "dating" the object is usually just plain old fun. There's nothing wrong with fun, but dating is normally based on physical attraction. A dating couple is usually given private time together alone and time alone encourages physical affection. It can be dangerous to willingly put yourself in that position. Immorality before marriage is regretted later once marriage does take place. Dating denies the strong temptation of the flesh, which can lead to trouble, even among strong Christians whose intentions are initially honorable.
Dating relationships are also kind of like "mini marriages" that normally end. Couples tend to fall "in love" and tell each other so. Then, the couple "breaks up" and the process begins all over again with someone else. This seems to be practice for divorce more than preparation for marriage. And many problems are caused by one "giving away a piece of their heart" to a boyfriend and that "first love" can also haunt a marriage later in life.
In
all that we do and say, and in all of our relationships, we should remember
what is important is to keep centered on Christ. This is especially true
to keep in the forefront of your mind as you search for that one person
that will be your lifelong partner in serving Christ. So whether you "date"
or "court," remember to keep Christ-focused.
"But flee youthful lusts, and follow righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart" ~ 2Ti 2:22
... from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and, in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, and thereto I pledge you my faith and love"
Here
are a few courtship stories for you to read. We hope they will be an encouragement
to you!
Matt and Jennie
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report broken links or inappropriate material
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